With the holidays just around the corner, there’s a chance that you may find yourself heartbroken. Why? Because things aren’t always as they seem. You just might be the side chick or side d!ck. For today’s topic, we’ll use the term “side piece”.

What’s a side piece? A side piece is considered to be the “other” woman or man. Can a side piece be a mistress or manstress? Yes and no. It all depends on whether or not he or she is aware that he or she is, IN FACT, the other man or woman. Truth be told, there are many men and women that just don’t know. Don’t judge them. 

Here are some signs that you just might be the side piece:

1. He or she disappears on you. If your significant other can go days without contacting you, chances are that he or she is spending that time with someone else.
2. He or she doesn’t answer your phone calls or respond to your text messages. Hmmm… That may be because he or she has placed you on DO NOT DISTURB or MUTE. Why? To avoid getting caught by his or her main piece while they are happily spending quality time together.
3. You never spend holidays together. When a man or woman takes you home for the holidays, it symbolizes that he or she is committed to your relationship. If he or she doesn’t take you home for the holidays, it’s because that spot has already been reserved for his or her main piece. And THAT you are not…
4. You’ve never met his or her friends. If you’ve never been invited to accompany your significant other to special events or gatherings that would require a formal introduction to friends, chances are that you don’t exist in their world. Why? Because they don’t know about you. And frankly, he or she probably has no plans of ever telling them about you.
5. It’s always Netflix and Chill. Sometimes that’s all there is to it… Netflix and Chill. No dinner… no concerts… no dates… no nothing.  Is this a problem? Not unless you believe your relationship to be more than what it is. If you’ve come to an agreement that you’re just enjoying the moment, I have no qualms with that. BUT… make sure that in all your “getting” you GET an understanding. Netflix and Chill is not a committed relationship. So there will need to be a discussion about the exclusivity of your relationship. Even if this discussion takes your relationship to the next level, you STILL may end up being the side piece.

I know for a fact that I didn’t cover everything.  (deep sigh…) The bottom line is to NEVER ignore the signs. If you want to be in a committed relationship and he or she doesn’t, you’ll be settling if you stay along for the roller coaster of emotion ride. And it’s possible that you will miss out on a man or woman who would be the perfect match for you.

If your gut tells you that you don’t have a place in your significant other’s life:

• Believe it. Your gut is a blessing from God.
• Investigate it. Ask questions ONLY if you really want to know the truth.
• Confirm it. If there’s smoke, there’s fire. In some cases, you just want to see the evidence. If that’s you, go forth and by all means… find the fire. 🔥 Just know that there’s a chance that you may get burned. Proceed with caution.
• Communicate using your voice not hands… Don’t let emotions make you do things that you’d later regret. It’s okay to be hurt, angry and mad. Even so,  try to remain calm and keep it classy.
• Decide whether or not you will end the relationship. I can’t tell you to end the relationship. Some people like to rip bandages off as fast as possible, while others prefer to slowly peel them away. Either way, there’s a wound that has to heal. Your wound… your timeline.