After being hospitalized and released earlier this week, I am thankful to be back at home. Rolling my eyes as I write this, I am in bed, weak and achy like I have the flu.
For those that don’t know the background of my illness, you should read Author’s Note: My Testimony…Am I Dying? Cross Your Red Sea Campaign.
Anyway… I try to remain positive, but there are just some things I absolutely HATE about being sick. So, I’ll vent here and move on to better and more positive things.
1. What’s wrong with you? I HATE explaining what’s wrong with me because my diagnoses are so complicated and I’m still waiting for test to confirm/eliminate additional diagnosis. When you have an invisible illness (dysautonomia, fibromyalgia, arthralgia, etc.), it’s hard to explain because it’s so complex. There are so many levels and components to what’s happening to my body until I’m often left confused myself.
2. You should go out more. Can you spare a little of your energy,please? Lol! If I had the energy to go I would. After being sick since October 2014, my body has pushed until it can barely push anymore. If you just so happen to see me outside of the house for an hour or two, know that the next few days I will pay for it. No, I’m not lazy. Everything I do is calculated. Everything I do has a price. I have just learned to pick my battles and focus on what lifts my spirit and transfers to energy. Thus, The Spoon Theory.
3. Are you stressed out or worried about something? No. I’m just sick. That’s the response you will get if you ask me. Have you really thought about what you’re asking? Think about it. Try being sick a long time and then ask that question again. Most people would be worried, but something in my spirit won’t allow it. Of course, I have bad days like everyone else. I will even schedule my very own pity party every once in a while. But as time continues to pass, I’m learning that my energy is much better spent on healing my body.
4. You should go to church. Are there not sick people in the church that has four walls? My relationship with God is a personal one. He understands and knows my heart. Don’t be so quick to judge. You never know what He’s up to.
5. Why didn’t you tell me you were in the hospital? Because I didn’t want a slew of people fussing over me. I don’t want people to worry about me. And I like my independence. Let me hold on to what I have left. Is that pride speaking? No. I just want to take care of myself as long as I can. What’s so wrong with that?
And there you go… I feel a little better now.
If you take one thing away from this post, PLEASE remember that the best thing you can do for a person that’s sick is to just be there for them. Just be…
Laced with Love,