Five years ago today marked a new beginning for us. We gazed into each other’s eyes as we proclaimed our love to a host of witnesses. And we vowed before God and to one another that we would love each other for better or for worse. Although we dated five years prior to getting married and had experienced typical relationship issues, our relationship graduated to the next level that day. We were excited and ready to start afresh.
Those first few months of marriage seemed perfect. We were kids who decided to grow together and tackle the transition to adulthood together. We were ready for the world! We were both 22-years-old and working pretty good jobs. You couldn’t tell us ANYTHING about marriage because we were high school sweethearts and we knew each other well already. We were in what others refer to as the “Honeymoon Phase” of our marriage.
The Honeymoon Phase is when your spouse or partner displays all of the qualities that made you fall deeply in like with them. Kind of like the infatuation phase, when you seem to be all they ever dreamed of.
But slowly you notice that the honeymoon high has diminished as you settle into your roles as husband and wife. He’s not quite the gentlemen he seemed to be. She’s not as appealing after the weight gain. You soon become annoyed by the small things…like him leaving the toilet seat up or her choice to change hairstyles. The challenges and pressures of life began to bear down on you in the form of stressful jobs and schedules, financial burden, conflicting interests and dreams and different values.
You see, it is after the honeymoon that we begin to see each other for who we really are…or who we have become. Yes, it’s possible that the person you thought you married is not the person you married…or that the person they once were has changed. OR maybe you didn’t know them the way that you thought you did. But hold on…it’s all a part of the process.
The period after the honeymoon is an uncomfortable one. It hurts at times. But it’s absolutely necessary for growth. For in this phase, the choice to love becomes apparent. This is what God desires; Not for us to be perfect TOWARDS each other, but that our love will perfect that which is imperfect in our marriages. This is what makes us perfect FOR each other.
Enjoy the honeymoon, but understand that no one will vacation forever. When you’re vacationing, you’re not working…and we ALL must work on ourselves and our relationships.
Remember, what God has ordained WILL NOT FAIL. Will your marriage be perfect? NO. But you can enjoy life after the honeymoon…It’s called embracing reality.
As for us, we can truly say that our marriage has been a blessing, despite the bumps and setbacks along the way. Overall, I’m looking forward to several more anniversaries with the man that I love dearly.
Happy Anniversary to us!
Clifford and Fallon Brewster were the first couple to be featured on this blog. You can read their love story HERE.