Niece: “Tee Tee, I took my bath. Now, I need my PJs.”
Aunt: “Great job on your bath. Let’s walk to the laundry room to get some.”
Niece: As she walks behind her aunt, she asks, “What’s that hanging from your panties?” She then yanks the visible maxi pad.
Aunt: “Thank God I have wings.”
I do not know anything about birthing babies, but I do know a thing or two about children. The more time I spend with my nieces, the more I think they are smarter than me. At the age of 4, how is this possible that she sizes me up and defeats me in every conversation or request? By the end of the conversation, she makes me second guess my questions and I began to ask why.
Now mothers, if your children are anything like my nieces, here are a few tips to persuade them to get what you want.
- Always let them know they are right – ALWAYS.
- NEVER tell them NO when request are made to purchase a toy. Respond by saying “yes, but we must discuss when we will purchase at a later time.”
- Always prepare an afternoon snack including utensils, beverage, and ends cut off of bread. Believe me, all are required.
- If their bedtime is 8:00, began telling the children goodnight at 7:30 because they will find every excuse to stay up. Their excuses may include, but are not limited to, restroom adventures, thirst, feeding a cat when there is no cat, concerns about world hunger (yes, I said world hunger).
Now tweens are a different species. They want independence, but cannot complete the menial task at hand without assistance. When asked how was school, the answer is ALWAYS “good.” Spending time with them is hit or miss. One day they want to be around you for ten hours while binge watching Netflix; the other days there is a “Do Not Enter Sign” on the door. If a friend has a new lip gloss; get ready to travel the world to locate it because she refuses to ask the friend who designed the lip gloss or where she purchased it all because she wants to be “unique!”
Now, I may not be a mother, but my hat surely goes off to all the mothers in the world. The car ride alone makes me sit in a dark corner and pray to the Lord above.
Mothers are gifted with a special type of fairy dust! She can multitask better than the gods and display a mother’s love even after a meltdown. She can encourage one child while threatening another in the SAME breath. She can hold phone conversations effortlessly with friends while cooking, assisting with homework and feeding the dog ALL at the same time. The biblical phrase “you reap what you sow” is truly evident when dealing with children.
My advice to you: If you were a feisty child, I encourage you to ADOPT!